


Homecoming

by SilverNyctophilia



Series: In Which Sam Wilson is too good for this world [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angry Bucky Barnes, Author loves to chat in the Comments, Bucky Barnes & Sam Wilson Friendship, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Gen, Homecoming, Homeless Bucky Barnes, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Light Angst, Not Beta Read, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Pre-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Protective Sam Wilson, Sam Wilson is a Gift
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-11-13 12:56:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11185572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverNyctophilia/pseuds/SilverNyctophilia
Summary: “Sam?”“Yeah?”“I’m not a vet. Not even close.”Sam paused and sat a little straighter. “What do you mean?”James looked up  for the first time, and Sam’s heart nearly stopped.A ghost story, Hydra's secret weapon, disappeared after the fall, tore off his wings, nearly killed Fury, assassin, brainwashed, kidnapped, Caps best friend, - no fucking way.





	Homecoming

**Author's Note:**

> A second piece. Probably a little unclear without context.   
> Enjoy :)

    Sam didn’t know what he expected. He’d finally got James to agree with a meet-up. Alarm bells initially went off once again that night. If there was anything he was sure of after his years of working with people, is that you can’t be sure how stable someone is. He was well aware of the potential danger that James was to him, but something in him said to _ ignore it.  _

   Thank God he had. Sam found James lying in some back alley in the rain. 

 

      Again, Sam didn’t know what he expected. James wore a dark brown jacket over a black sweater, his jeans were a faded navy blue and his sneakers worn and holed. Sam also noticed the the pair of gloves James had on, as well as the hat that helped hide his face as he tipped his head down. There was also a backpack, which was equally as battered as everything else. James had it underneath his head, using it as a pillow. 

 

     Before Sam could say anything James called out, “Sam, that you?” 

 

    “Yeah man, I’m here.” He didn’t know what to say next. So he crouched down across from James.     “Talk to me, how are you?” 

 

    “I don’t know,”  was all he said. Sam took in his demeanor. He was lying down on his side, rigid, slightly curled inward, making a point to hide his face. Sam hesitated for a second before asking another question. 

 

    “Are you hurt?” James didn’t respond right away. 

 

    “It’s not important, I mean I didn’t do it to myself.” 

  “Were you in a fight, how long ago was it?” 

  “Why’re you even here?” James suddenly snapped. 

   “I’m here so you aren’t by yourself.” Sam stated calmly. It wasn't’ unusual for people to act out, he was used to it. He knew that sometimes it was hard to admit you need help, or need someone or anything really. If James wanted to get upset, then fine. Either way, Sam wasn’t leaving. 

 

    “And so what if I am by myself?” 

  “Nothing.” Sam sat down more comfortably against the wall, across from him, careful enough to keep his distance. “You didn’t seem too thrilled about being alone just a little while ago, so?...”

 “So nothing. I told you, it was a mistake.” 

 “Calling me was a mistake, or was it telling me where you were?” 

   “If you don’t mind, I’m trying to sleep.” James refused to answer hs question.  

  Sam scoffed. “Sleep? In this damn alley? In the rain?”

 

“It’s not ideal, but what else can I do?”

 

“There’s a shelter just a block away.” 

 

“I’m not a damn charity case, Wilson.”

 

“I didn’t say you were. You know James, you shouldn’t feel embarrassed.” 

 

 “I don’t.” He said firmly. 

 “I’m just saying, there’s no shame in taking help when it’s offered. Or seeking it out when you need it-...”

 

  “Would you just shut up!” James yelled as he got to his knees. “You don’t know anything about me, hell...I don’t know what anything is anymore!” James had been shouting this, but all of a sudden he just deflated. “I don’t know Sam, I just don’t know. Why did I call you, I don’t think I was going to do anything, but I just…” he shrugged and fell back against the wall. Sam wanted to say something else, but he knew it was important to let James talk. 

 

    He shook his head. “There is no helping someone like me” James stated. 

 

   “Listen man, lots of vets say that, and-” Sam stopped when the other man began to laugh. It wasn’t a happy sound, it was a laugh of mockery, of pity and misery.

 

   “Sam?” 

 

   “Yeah?” 

 

   “I’m not a vet. Not even close.” 

 

Sam paused and sat a little straighter. “What do you mean?” 

 

James looked up  for the first time, and Sam’s heart nearly stopped. 

 

 

_ A ghost story, Hydra's secret weapon, disappeared after the fall, tore off his wings, nearly killed Fury, assassin, brainwashed, kidnapped, Caps best friend, -  _ **_no fucking way._ **

 

 

    Sam stood up right away. His eyes grew wider by the second. If you’d asked the man any other day what his response would be, fight or flight; fight would’ve been the first answer. But right now his body was doing something else, a third option called ‘staying fucking frozen in place with the hope that you disappear.’    

 

    The two men looked at each other. Then James grabbed his backpack and stood up. He walked slowly past Sam. 

 

    “Thanks anyway for trying,” James said in a soft,scratchy voice that couldn’t possibly belong to the same man that had tried to kill him just weeks earlier. 

   “Wait- don’t leave!” Sam said, he turned around and watched the other man stop walking _. Would he regret this? Was James right, was this way more than Sam could handle?  _ He thought about his options. Call Agent Hill, have SHIELD bring everyone they could, all for one man that really didn’t seem like he was doing anything wrong at the moment. That was out of the question. He knew they’d just take him into custody, Steve would never forgive him.  _ Holy cow, Steve! _

  “James he’s looking for you, he has been since-,”

 “Since I tried to kill him?” His voice was rougher and Sam could already see this was getting more dangerous. He should’ve brought a gun or something, though he hoped it wouldn’t really come to that. 

 

    “He knows it wasn’t you in control.” 

 

    “How could he know that?”

 

    “He read your case file.” Sam braced himself for the worst. But James only stiffened. 

 

    “Then he knows what I’ve done, how many people I hurt, just how much blood is on my hands.”

 

    “Listen man…” except, in that moment Sam Wilson had no idea what to say. He couldn’t say he wasn’t still afraid of the man in front of him. Hell, he’d read the file too. Sam knew just how much The Winter Soldier could take, and he knew what the Soldier was capable of.

 

He shook his head and thought back to the conversation earlier, he thought about the broken man on the other line, the one who begged for help. He thought back to what they’d spoke about. 

  “That was then, you said it yourself, you’re not the same person anymore.” 

 

   “Don’t!” he snapped, making Sam jump. James shoulders slumped and his lowered his head. Sam could see his fists were balled up, as though he were containing his anger. Sam took a deep breath in. What could he do? He had to help- it wasn’t in him to give up; but what do you say to someone who doesn’t give you a chance to help them?

  “Why’d you call me?” Sam asked in the most assertive voice he could manage. “You said you got my number at the hospital, I believe that. But if you don’t want help then why bother in the first place, answer that at least?” 

 

    He expected there to be no response this time, and for about half a minute, he was right. Then James turned around to look him straight in the eyes for the first time. His stare was deadly, cold. Sam nearly looked away, nearly; but he continued to stare back, challengingly. The two continued to stare at each other, willing the other to give in and look away. In the end it was James who faltered. 

“I want to live.” He said, defeated. “When I called you I,... couldn’t stop thinking about the things I’ve done. Doesn’t matter that they made me do it. It was still me, you know? Still me pulling the trigger, still my hand crushing their throats.” Sam couldn’t help but shudder at that. 

 

    “When we were talking I couldn’t stop seeing Steve’s face. He was so full of trust...in me? And I was going to …” He made a sound like before and suddenly Sam felt helpless again. 

 

“I was so close to killing him. One more hit and he would’ve been gone, and the worst part is, he was going to let me do it.” James brought his fleshed hand to his mouth as if he were going to be sick. “I can still feel his bones cracking under my knuckles.” This time he shuddered visibly.

 

“Everytime I close my eyes; I see it all over again.I see myself  **killing him.”** His chest heaved now. “And I  _ can’t stop it _ .” James let out a shaky breath, and then another, and another- until he was breathing too quick.  

Sam pushed down the last of his fear and slowly stepped toward the other man. He stopped inches away from James’s face. His eyes were glossy, pointed straight ahead, but he knew James wasn’t really there in front of him. He was off reliving those moments on the helicarrier- and wherever else his mind took him. 

 Sam knew his next move was risky, but he looked at the state James was in.  _ Are we really doing this? Oh man,...I guess so.  _ Sam took James’s backpack from his slack grip, ignoring the feeling of hard metal underneath the glove. _ Keep calm, stay cool…  _ He swung the bag over his shoulder. Contemplating his next moves carefully, Sam reached out to touch James’s shoulder. The other man didn’t react. 

 

    “Hey man, you’re safe. Whatever you’re seeing, it’s not happening right now, it’s over.” No answer, but this time James managed to nod slightly. “I told you before, you’re not alone alright? I’m here, and I’m taking you someplace safe, okay? I’m taking you home.” 

 

James made a noise of protest, but made no physical attempt to escape, despite them both knowing he could. 

 

“Home or hospital, your choice man.” Sam told him, leaving no room for compromise. 

 

James’s shoulders fell, and so did his gaze. He stared at his feet and dropped his arms completely. 

 

“Home. Please, take me home.”   

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
